that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
