I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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