Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I AM VODKA MAN
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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