I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
