I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
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Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
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Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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