She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
