I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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