Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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