I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
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shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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