I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
