I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
