He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
