Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
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Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
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So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
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