i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
