Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Randomize
