If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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