You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
