she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
