please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
