I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
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look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
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The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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