i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
