If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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