i jhust puked up my retainher.
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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