after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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