Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize