can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
