Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
