): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
