White coat. Heels.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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