So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
