im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
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