My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize