we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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