just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
