just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
