Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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