it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
