I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
look no pants
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Michael Bay diarrhea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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