Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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