you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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