i was born a porn star she said
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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