I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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