Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
