hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
