They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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