My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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