There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
it was like eating out sand paper
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
