Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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