talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
