Where are you?
In a non slutty way
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
