Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
