with your own penis?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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