During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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