my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
