For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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