so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
