ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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