dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
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We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
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I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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