we have pet lesbian snakes
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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